Hi future mama,
I hope you're enjoying your summer so far and getting some quality time with your partner and family.
I had an unexpected wrench thrown into this summer. On July 5th, my mother in law very unexpectedly passed away. We had just seen her on the Saturday and had a wonderful time with family, and then Tuesday she was gone. It was instant and she didn't suffer which, if it was going to happen, is what you wish for them. And not that it's easier when a death is expected, but sometimes not being able to say goodbye adds to the sense of loss even more. While my heart was breaking for my husband, on an energetic/spiritual level, I'm good. I've really been realizing over the last few years that death isn't a bad thing. It can be really hard for those of us that are "left behind" sometimes. But everything is purposeful. Especially the "bad" stuff. And while we absolutely need to feel how we feel- sad, angry, frustrated, robbed, etc; it doesn't serve us to stay there. They are physically gone, but are very much still around us, and maybe able to help us more than they could in this life. We can't know what they've signed up for this time around (anymore than we can know what we've signed up for). As much as it hurts, there is purpose in it; and the sooner we can wrap our heads around it, the sooner we move through the grief.
Whether you call it a soul, or energy, heaven or Source- it's all love. That's what endures. The love we have for them, the love they have for us. That never goes away.
When we are stressed, sad, frustrated etc; we are believing something about the situation that isn't true. I get that that's a tough concept to wrap your head around when it comes to "big" things like death, losing a job or getting pregnant.
Many of you have heard me talk about the "shoulds". When we think something "shouldn't be" happening or "should be" other than what it is, it's not true. The truth is, if it shouldn't have happened, it wouldn't have; if we should have done something different, we would have. So our job is to look at why it was perfect and purposeful that this exact thing happened in the exact way it did. When we are being in "what is", we are looking at the situation as it is and able to move through it to the next thing that's meant for us; but most importantly the element of suffering is taken away when we are not making the situation mean something that it doesn't.
I love (present tense) my mother in law for her infectious laugh, her ability to make friends with anyone in the span of 5 minutes, her amazing generosity, her hysterical storytelling ability and mostly the fierce love she had for her family. And yes I will miss having her physically here for various events. But: A) I know that she actually hasn't gone anywhere and B) I know that it happened because it was supposed to. There is no randomness in the timing of things, and even though it may not be apparent right away, it becomes clear the more we allow the process, versus fighting something we can't change. When we fight it, it just causes more suffering and we stay in that space for longer.
So for those of you who are new to the Fusion Fertility, you might be saying, why the heck are you sharing that and what does that have to do with making babies?
Well, you can really apply being in "what is" to any thought that is causing you stress including and especially with regard to your fertility journey. Some of you may be in one or more of these "shoulds":
I should be pregnant by now
This shouldn't be happening to us
I shouldn't have had that miscarriage
My body shouldn't betray me
It shouldn't be so easy for others, but not for me
I totally get why those things feel true, but if they're causing you stress, they're not true. See if you can approach it from an exploratory, petri dish way and just inquire why it might be purposeful that your journey is unfolding this exact way. See if you can zoom out of the "meat suit" that you're operating and see if you can look at the bigger picture of your path, and why this exact scenario is perfect for your path. What have you learned/ What could it help you learn? Why was it not the right timing? Why might your body actually NOT be failing you? You can't move forward from the momentum of the spin of "this shouldn't be happening". While I totally understand why it feels like that, it keeps you attracting the energy you don't want and keeps you in a victim energy of things happening TO you. If you can truly see the purpose and allow in the next step, you are automatically in a place of power, choice and in the energy for things happening FOR you.
If you need help figuring it out, click here. I have one spot available to begin coaching in August. Email me for a complimentary 20 minute chat to learn more.
Until next time mamas,