It wasn't always this easy
for my gorgeous client Cristina
She's looking gorgeous and serene now, but her journey wasn't easy. Like many of you, she had been told by her doctors that she was too old, that her husband's low motility would prevent her from ever conceiving naturally and that IVF was her only option.
That's not the route she wanted to go, and she knew there had to be another way.
She's a spiritual person and aware of energy, but she had no idea how she was putting her own energy out there. As many of us do when we really want something or think: "we're gonna manifest this!", we put all our energy into thinking about it 24/7 and it actually attracts more of the desperate, needing energy vs the choosing, inviting energy.
She's a musician so we had her write her baby a song and implement more grounding techniques. For her, writing the list of "it's gonna be awesome when____" helped combat her brain going to the "When is it gonna happen? It's never gonna happen" wheel spinning place.
Then we found out that her husband had low motility and sperm count. She was understandably disappointed and at a loss, after all, this meant to her that it was out of her control and she felt utterly hopeless. After all, her husband wasn't open to alternative therapies at ALL, especially where the word energy was used. This is the case with most of my clients' husbands dealing with a male infertility component.
So we worked on some subtle ways to move him through it without him realizing it ;)
You've probably heard me mention before that there's always a mental/emotional cause to the physical condition. Each area of the body corresponds to a different emotional issue. For example, the lower back has to do with financial fears, the knees have to do with your flexibility as a person, etc. The reproductive organs have to do with the point of creation. And if there's a block there, there's a block in creativity or creation. In my experience with clients whose husbands are dealing with male infertility, it's usually one of four things:
1. The woman is the breadwinner and the man is insecure about this and is feeling somewhat emasculated.
2. The man is not in the position or field of work he truly wants to be in. For example, if he really wants to be a writer but is working as a trader on wall street and isn't being fulfilled creatively.
3. He is extremely type-a and strung out and neurotic not just about the job, but life in general.
4. Some unresolved family issue from his past that he thought he dealt with , but didn't. For example- parents divorce, one parent left and there's abandonment issues, some abuse by the parents- and he is mentally not wanting to repeat that pattern.
So what can we do about these things? Is hope lost if they don't want to/can't/won't deal with it? Not at all. When it comes down to it, honestly it's about your energy, but here's some things you can do to help your partner:
If he's not in the career he wants to be in, are there classes you can encourage him to take, volunteer organizations in that field that he could become a part of, meetups etc? Your encouragement and acknowledgment of his dreams will go a long way to changing the physical.
if you are the breadwinner and he is insecure about that, find other places where he can take the lead or feel important
Take a look at his diet. if he's open, have him consult with a holistic health coach or nutritionist. Is he drinking a lot of beer? (cutting that out is what helped Cristina's husband). Is he drinking a lot of caffeine or soda? Does he have too much soy in his diet? Is he eating a lot of processed food? This is something you can do together as a team.
If he's type-a or a little on the neurotic side and you don't think he'd be open to traditional grounding things like meditation or yoga, try to find some ways to get him more in his body and out of his head- maybe things that you could do together. Going for walks, going to the park, the ocean, slow dancing in the living room, giving each other massages, etc. And if comfortable talk with him about what HE's excited about when you guys get pregnant.
If you know or suspect he's got some unresolved family trauma, ideally you'd gently have a conversation either together or with a life coach or therapist. If he absolutely won't, see if he'd consider acupuncture. It's more mainstream than reiki and will go in to unblock stuck energy, so it can help on that level even if he doesn't want to talk about it. YOU can also help while lying in bed with him & cuddling and oh so casually putting your hand on his heart area. Call on your guides, his guides, angels, god, universe- whatever resonates with you; and ask for him to receive the healing he needs, and may he release what's no longer serving him. If you can visualize light coming in through your crown and out through your hands into his chest and just fill him up with light and wellness. He doesn't even have to know you're doing it!
And if you're really open in the energy department, you may consider getting him three stones and taping them behind the headboard, or putting them under his side of the mattress- again he doesn't even need to know. RUBY IN ZOISITE is good for both male and female fertility, CARNELIAN is good for both male and female fertility and the drive and esteem to complete goals in work/life. And EMERALD CALCITE is good for letting go of beliefs that are no longer serving you. You'll want to charge the stones by using sage or even just your hands over them and setting your intention for them. They should be cleansed in cold water or sunlight every couple of weeks as they'll be absorbing some yuck.
You may also consider getting Valor essential oil by Young Living. It's great for both male and female fertility, relieving anxiety, and the drive/courage to ahcieve your goals. I've seen this oil work REALLY well with a lot of clients. You'll probably have the most luck finding it on ebay or amazon. Get it soon because they are discontinuing it. You use it on the bottoms of your feet and the base of your spine. If you know he won't be open to putting it on, you can put it in his shoes and a little on your hand when you work on his heart. Another one that works well for men is Idaho Blue Spruce also by Young Living. Ideally it goes on ankles ( but again, you can do his shoes if he's not open, and some on your hand when you work on his heart.
It's not all over for you if you or your partner are having a physical issue. There are things you can do to shift it so that you can conceive naturally. My clients have done it, and the beautiful Cristina is a great example. She knew IVF wasn't for her and that there was a non-invasive way to get pregnant. She did the work and now her baby girl is due in just over three weeks.
You can DO this mama. Know that you can.
SO much love,A'ndrea