The Blame Game

November 22, 2014






Your body is on your side. I promise.

When we are dealing with chronic pain and infertility, it can seem like our body has turned against us. We feel helpless, frustrated and shut down; and we've tried EVERYTHING. It inhibits how we function on a daily basis and feels...well... hard.
And sometimes we feel like no one understands where we are coming from. We can become a little jealous and resentful of people who aren't going through what we are. THEY can play with their kids without their back killing them; THEY can have babies without complications; they can go up and down stairs without shooting pain.
And the longer we've been dealing with it, the more we can slip into blaming others and blaming ourselves.  So often I hear from clients. "I should be stronger than this", "I'm not good at being pregnant", etc.
Here's the deal:In order to move forward, we need to stop the Blame Game. We need to let go of the blame and resentment towards others trying to help us, or on a different path from us; and we need to stop blaming OURSELVES. I SO get why it happens and is certainly a valid feeling to have, but it just keeps us stuck where we are.
As I've said in many posts before this one and will probably continue to do for many more after; every physical issue has a mental or emotional cause.  The body is actually an amazing map to let us know what we haven't dealt with- so really it's just giving you a heads up about an emotional issue that hasn't been solved yet. Of course we would never consciously punish ourselves, but when we haven't dealt with an issue, the body will just keep reminding you until you do. This is actually great news, because not only is the body not betraying you, it's trying to do you a solid and get you to work through some stuff to move you forward. The annoying question is- "what the heck is it that I'm supposed to work on?" Each part of the body corresponds to a different emotional issue.As a starter place, I'd recommend looking in the back of Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life, where there's a pretty comprehensive glossary. I've never seen it be wrong. Now if you're STILL having trouble, that's where I come in. While we do the reiki portion of the session, I am getting intuitive hits, which is mostly picking up on the subconscious blocks/beliefs that are running in the background. And then the remainder of the session is the mindset coaching piece which moves you through the blocks. Once these emotional causes are dealt with, the physical issues diminish or vanish. I've seen it countless times with back pain, cancer and infertility.
Sometimes it's hard for people to hear that there' s a mental component to the physical condition. They can think "How can you tell me it's just in my head"? Or, "if it were that easy to shift my thoughts, don't you think I would have done it already?!" This is another place where we can get into that blamey mode. I'm not saying it's all in your head. The physical condition is real and valid, but I am saying that there's a mental component that is often not addressed. That doesn't mean it's your fault. It's no one's fault- it just IS.
So here's where I'd invite you to consider that it's actually a good thing that there's a mental component to this. Because while, yes, you might be subconsciously doing things to hinder your condition; it also means there are things you can do to help it! And if we can let go of the identifying with our condition (which only keeps us spinning our wheels), and blaming ourselves; we can actually use this as an amazing opportunity to literally SHIFT the physical issue by shifting our energy forward to what we're wanting vs what we DON'T want. We just have to be willing to get out of our own way, and really commit to addressing the emotional issue. I promise that it's way less invasive and no side effects!
Where we are putting our energy matters- for better or worse. And while it's admittedly hard to think everything's going to be all better just like that, we have to choose at a certain point that the past is not going to dictate the future. You get to choose what's in your existence, so it's time to start choosing what you'd LOVE in your existence. The Law of Attraction basically means that like energy attracts like energy. So the Universe is obligated to respond to you with the energy you're putting out. Instead of putting out "my back is deteriorating" or "I'll never get pregnant" ; start with "Won't it be awesome when I don't need a cane?", or "It's going to be so great when I see that positive sign on the pregnancy test". And literally FEEL into that. How is it going to feel in your body when you achieve that? It's a very different energy- and it frankly takes less energy to be in that place, than the tense, worried place. And if you find that you can't make that leap energetically, start with the little things that are going well now. Being in a state of gratitude, pulls more of that positive energy toward you and then makes the bigger, positive, healing thoughts more plausible.
I've personally worked with people who have moved through infertility, cancer and debilitating chronic pain- all by addressing these sneaky little blocks that have been hanging around for a long time. So this is not to attack or blame, it's to help you see that you can move yourself through this. It's to let you see that you can take your power back and CHOOSE what you're wanting. The sayings "mind over matter" and "you can do anything you put your mind to" don't come from nowhere! You can totally do this. And I'd love to show you how.





















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